Purpose
by Spitfire47
Summary: A simple conversation turned complicated. One shot


The pencil end tapped lightly against his desk, he could feel his heart beat rhythmically in the silence of the room. The others were away finding a possible associate of the escapee while Julianne was in the coffee nook. Lloyd rose to his feet and slowly took a step forward. Was this right? Was this what he really wanted? He stopped halfway through the second step and he slowly backed down. No, Julianne had made her decision and it was obvious that she choose Ray over him. Lloyd clenched his fists and then unclenched them, his mind raced and he contemplated on what to do. Lloyd didn't know on what reasons Julianne picked Ray, sure he had helped her after she got kicked out of the academy but Lloyd too could help her. He walked over and then stopped halfway, what if he screwed up? What if he would say too much like he always did? Lloyd knew that it wasn't time to self- question but he couldn't help it. Julianne was mentally fragile and Lloyd knew that he had to tip toe on thin waters to have a conversation with her. He reached the coffee nook and then stopped at the entrance.

Inside was Julianne leaned up against the table, she didn't notice Lloyd at the doorway. Her fingers gripped the table so tight that her knuckles had turned white and her head was bent down. Lloyd noticed the dark stains on her shirt and realized that she was crying. He wanted to make a move to comfort her but he didn't know if that was the right thing or not. Julianne gave a small sniffle and then looked up and almost jumped.

"What do you want?" Julianne asked quickly turning her back on Lloyd she cursed herself for allowing her emotions to get ahead of her, especially with _him_ here.

"I'm sorry," Lloyd answered shallowly, "I just came for some coffee."

"Well get it!" It came out as a command. Lloyd slowly moved into the nook and then said, "Are you alright?"

Julianne rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand and then sighed, "Yes Lloyd I'm fine."

"Do you-."

"No I don't."

Julianne rushed past Lloyd with quick steps. Lloyd caught her arm just as she was going and then said, "I can help you please Jules."

Immediately Lloyd felt like he had crossed a line he tried to apologize but Julianne immediately silence him before he could get out even a sound.

"Don't you ever call me that," Julianne whispered, "Ever."

Lloyd felt his grip loosen and he watched Julianne stalk out of the coffee nook and back to her desk. Lloyd on the other hand leaned against the wall thinking on what an idiot he had been. He had called Julianne Jules, only Ray called her that. Ray, the one man Lloyd silently despised. Charlie wasn't all that bad okay the few sharp words here and there but Ray sometimes took it over the deep end. Lloyd walked out of the coffee nook empty handed and slowly went back to his desk when he suddenly turned and walked up to Julianne's desk.

"I'm sorry Julianne," Lloyd said.

"That's fine Lloyd," Julianne replied although Lloyd could tell that she still wasn't too pleased with him. Lloyd pondered and then smiled, "Remember the first time we met? The first conversation?"

"Yes," Julianne said looking up from her computer, "You were looking down my blouse."

Lloyd gave a bashful grin and Julianne rose to her feet. Just then the phone rang and Julianne picked it up.

"Yeah?" she asked her voice was slightly annoyed, "…sure."

"They found him," Julianne said slamming the phone back onto the receiver, "Ray's coming back to pick you up, he should be here in a few minutes."

Lloyd then went for it just as Julianne was ready to sit down he leaned over and then gave Julianne a short kiss on the cheek. Julianne, upon instinct, slapped him across the face but not hard. Stunned Lloyd staggered back and Julianne's eyes went wide.

"I'm sorry," she said going towards him then stopping halfway. Lloyd held out his hand and then replied, "No it's…I'm fine. _I'm _sorry."

Lloyd went back to his desk and sat down. He opened a file and pretended to read but he could still tell that Julianne was watching him.

"It was about the academy," Julianne said walking over to Lloyd's desk.

"No," Lloyd said, "I pushed it…."

Julianne shook her head, "I don't know why I'm still thinking about it."

"It's because it is what you do, it defines you doesn't it? As a whole you feel comfortable."

"Almost," Julianne replied, " It was the reason I was kicked out of the academy, because of my…problems."

Lloyd knew about those problems, he had helped her a few times the main time he helped her was when they had to drive on the highway to help prove a man's innocence. He remembered when Julianne started to hyperventilate as soon as they came onto the long strip of road.

"After that," Julianne explained, "I didn't think my life had any purpose, I lived with my mother and I didn't know what to do…then Ray came."

Lloyd noticed how Julianne seemed relaxed almost at peace when she said his name.

"He helped me Lloyd, Ray helped me through it all and when he called me up for this…it was like," – Julianne paused and looked at the ground -, "This is how I can get my life back together by doing this."

She rose to her feet and then looked at Lloyd, "I'm sorry, I truly am."

Lloyd realized what had gone on, and when he did Lloyd realized that all the amount of help he had given Julianne couldn't possibly match to what Ray had done for her. It was all about the purpose, what made Julianne and that she now found herself useful. Lloyd knew all about that.

A sudden click caught both their attention and then they looked up to see Ray stroll in.

"Lowery," Ray called, "Get your coat on."

Lloyd got up from his chair and then went to the coat rack. He looked back to see Ray and Julianne in a closed off conversation. Lloyd looked back and then pondered, what is my purpose?


End file.
